By Mike McCarthy, North of England Correspondent
A nurse accused of murdering and poisoning patients wrote that he was an angel who had turned into "an evil person" with the devil inside him.
Jurors at Victorino Chua's trial have been told that police found the note inside a kitchen drawer at his home following his arrest in January 2012.
Manchester Crown Court was told the nurse had been advised to express his frustration and anger in writing after seeing an employees' counsellor at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport where he was working.
The meeting took place in 2010, a year before patients at the hospital were poisoned with contaminated saline drips.
Three patients allegedly died as a result, one suffered brain injury and several others recovered.
In the note, Filipino Mr Chua wrote: "Inside of me I can feel the anger that at any time it will explode just still hanging on can still control it but if I will be pushed they gonna be sorry."
Explaining in imperfect English that he had been taking anti-depressants, sleeping pills and painkillers for a bad back and knee, the nurse added: "At home I can control not to take my painkiller but in hospital because of the staff I can't help take more than the limit or else I won't care or carry on with my job.
"I am telling them I'm fine and alright just to shut their mouth."
He said he wanted to explain to his family "how an angel turn to evil person. The bitter nurse confession. Got lots to tell but I just take it to my grave".
Mr Chua has pleaded not guilty to 37 charges in all, including three alleged murders, 25 counts of attempted grievous bodily harm with intent, eight counts of attempting to administer poison and one count of administering poison.
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